The Shins’ Marty Crandall with longtime sweetheart and supermodel Elyse Sewell, presumably before their Sacramento arrrest
If you thought that domestic violence was a pastime of coked up defense lawyers and drunk bow hunters, think again. Earlier this month, The Shins’ Marty Crandall proved that arty hipsters can get down and dirty with the best of them. The only difference is that they blog about it on Live Journal.
On January 4, Crandall and his girlfriend of seven years, Elyse Sewell, the edgy egghead who appeared on the first season of America’s Next Top Model, ended up in the custody of Sacramento County police after the two got into a drunken scuffle in their hotel room
Sewell later detailed the incident on her blog
. She claimed that Crandall got “shitfaced” before leaving her bruised and bloodied. “I escaped from the room through a blitzkrieg of violence,” she wrote.
Who knew domestic violence could be so poetic?
Sewell goes on to say that she contacted hotel security, who then called the cops. When police finally arrived on the scene, Crandall, taking a cue from professional wife beaters everywhere, flashed bite marks on his arms and asked to press charges against Sewell. Both were taken to the county jail, where Sewell says she was openly mocked by correctional officers:
As the warden took pics of my bloody knuckles for evidence (!!!! evidence!), he quipped, "So there goes that hand modeling job, huh? What's Tyra going to say about this?" And here is how I was summoned from the holding cell for a strip-search, complete with a thorough plumbing of the boodissy: "Hey, Supermodel! Git over here!"
Turns out, jail was quite a learning experience for the brainy beauty:
Breakfast in jail is served at 4:00am. Meat-stuffed croissant. And, you should already know what a "kite" is if you've been studying your 50 Cent lyrics. But "toilet talk"? That was a new one for me. Apparently, if you bail all the water out of the toilet, you can use the pipes to talk to inmates on different floors. And, girl, you can tell who do it 'cause they got like a big rash or whatever on they face from puttin' it down in the toilet and shit. Damn…
After being released, the two appeared in court on Tuesday. The judge dropped the charges against both, claiming a lack of evidence. – Denise Grollmus