Though we Clevelanders like to brood about our lot – preferably over large piles of intoxicants – we are not the most miserable Americans. According to Forbes, that distinction belongs to Detroit, which can now be officially known as the Unhappiest City in the Land…
Editors used six factors to determine a city’s unhappiness level: unemployment, personal tax rates, commute times, weather, crime, and the amount of toxic waste. Now one might think that Cleveland would win this hands-down on our score from the toxic waste category alone. But it appears that we actually suck at unhappiness. We’re not even in the Top 10.
Detroit finished No. 1 – for obvious reasons. If you’ve ever journeyed to Motown, you’ve surely noticed that its high crime, block after block of desolation, and super-high unemployment make Cleveland look like Palm Beach.
But even New York finished ahead of us. Seems those uppity rascals are actually hiding their misery over long commutes and high taxes, which is why they always wear black.
Los Angeles, meanwhile, is 7th on the list. Forbes cites pollution, high taxes, and commuting. And they didn’t even factor in the seven hours each week that residents have to listen to Kobe Bryant whine. – Rebecca Meiser