In the Cavaliers’ depressingly ugly loss
last night to the suddenly unbeatable Houston Rockets, LeBron James was an unreal passing machine. Of his 11 assists, several were no look wonders that went right past the heads of Rocket defenders and into the hands of waiting teammates for easy scores. Aside from the T-shirt cannon, The Bron’s passing showcase was the most impressive thing that happened at the Q last night. One behind-the-back pass even made a chubby kid in the third row pause for a brief moment, rest a slimy buffalo wing on his white t-shirt, and cheer.
It was ridiculous.
It could have been better. ...
By our count -- not the best considering the giant Q-shaped pretzel that kept distracting our tally – The Bron could have had at least eight more assists on the night. Unfortunately, his teammates, namely Donyell Marshall, were trying to catch his passes with their faces, or weren’t trying at all, distracted, perhaps, by the fact that nearly everyone of them is being shopped around for the likes of Brian Cardinal.
Or, it could be that The Bron’s passes were so good that only person with the possibility to catch them is The Bron.
That’s why the Cavs need more The Brons on their team. The folks at Cleveland Clinic are smart, right? Couldn’t they clone The Bron in, like, one or two months, just in time for playoffs? If The Bron was throwing no-look dimes to The Bron, The Bron would definitely throw them down instead of face-butting them into the crowd.
A side note: Yao Ming is not natural. It is not humanly possible for Z to look up to anyone. Ming’s on something. How can someone not look at him up close and thing that HGH did not play a part in his freakish development?
A side-side not: Dikembe Mutombo is the ultimate player/cheerleader. After every other Houston basket, he’d stand with his arms up straight up in the air. Through the entire game he had a huge smile on his face, joking with referees, Larry Hughes, even Moondog, the Cavs’ mascot dog. Middle-age is treating Ol’ Finger-wagger well. Or maybe it’s the $2 mill he gets for sitting on the bench. -- Bradley Campbell