Behold, the Chili Open -- because heading south for winter is for guys named Chaz


Let those wealthy duffers with fat bank accounts and fatter stomachs sojourn to Arizona, North Carolina, or Florida for golf during the winter. Who needs them anyway? They’re the ones that make your 18-hole round take six hours and litter the greens with their stogie butts while they take 10 practice swings before finally taking a shot. Real Ohio golfers play their winter golf in Ohio. So: Come out to the Cuyahoga County Fairgrounds (164 Eastland Rd., Berea) this Saturday for the Chili Open, the best excuse between November and March to pull out your pitching wedge and dream dreams of spring, which is only four months away or something. ... Here’s the score: Three 9-hole, par 3 courses are set up with artificial greens and tee boxes in the parking lot -- because everyone knows that chicks dig the short game. When you’re not freezing your ass off or recovering from the splintering shivers in your wrists from a mis-hit tee shot, head inside for loads of delicious chili and copious amounts of something called beer, rumored to be a magical elixir that makes activities like playing golf in 12-degree weather seem like a good idea. Then, after you warm the cockles of your body, head back outside, because the golf is unlimited from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. It’s only $35 if you register in advance, or $40 at the door, which buys you golf, plenty of neon colored golf balls to track down in the snow, all-you-can-eat chili, and the satisfaction of knowing you're not in Isleworth sharing a cart with some guy with roman numerals after his name. Visit to register, or just show up with a club in your hand, an empty stomach, and a resilient liver. – Vince Grzegorek


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