Elyria woman hawks Jesus-shaped fish sticks on eBay, has some serious explaining to do


Holy. Holy. Holy. It’s all one needs to explain the miracle of Christ that Elyria resident Victoria Landis found in her freezer recently. According to an Associated Press report, this is what went down:
"I went to cook them one day and I poured them out into the pan and there were three kind of fused together in a way that made three mini crosses, and the way they fell on the pan it looked just like the hill where Jesus was crucified," Landis said.
It gets better. ... Knowing it was sign from God commemorating Holy Week, Landis immediately put the sticks, equivalent to the grail so coveted by Sir Galahad and, more memorably, Indiana Jones, up for sale on eBay. And on Thursday morning, they sold for 79 bucks, which includes next-day shipment in a box full of dry ice. An act of heresy akin to Judas snitching on Christ -- or LC cheating on Brody, if you prefer a slightly more contemporary but equally weighty analogy – slangin’ her holy fish sticks online is expected to force Landis to do a u-turn before Saint Peter, who loves fish sticks but really can’t stand the Web. Or maybe it just means that some dude named Xavier was falling asleep during his 12-hour shift at Gorton’s fish-stick factory, allowing a woman to make a couple bucks. God works in mysterious ways, right? – Bradley Campbell


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