The LeBron James Leave-o-Meter: With new and improved "LeBron James Threat Level!"

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The Latest Sign of Impending Doom: Some people in New York have built the official “NYC for LeBron” website. Their intent -- and they seem really serious -- is to bring Bron Bron to the Knicks with lavish gifts, tons of cash, and a box at Yankees games. They’re taking donations to help the cause and selling t-shirts, which is just evil, yet somehow we're still pissed we didn’t think of it first. How It Went Down in Cleveland’s Mind: "Holy shit! There’s a website. That’s the real deal then. Only really, really, official things have websites. They’re even selling new t-shirts, without holes. Can’t get those Unique Thrift, which only proves our theory: Those east coast New York motherfuckers have so much money it’s just spewing out of their tightly puckered asses. They’ll probably just reach back, wipe gently, and suddenly have enough to sway LeBron into signing with the Knicks. We don’t even have enough change for one of those sweet glow in the dark condoms in the bathroom at the bar. We’re so hosed." The LeBron James Threat Level: lebron%20threat%20level%202.JPG

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