Mass evacuation makes for a greener Cuyahoga County

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Cuyahoga County is producing less trash. (Unfortunately, that due to global warming and everyone fleeing.)
Solid Waste District Director Pat Holland arrived at the county commissioners’ meeting last week with big news: Cuyahoga is producing less trash! Holland put up a wonderful power point to back his claim. In 2006, our great county tossed away 1,949,599.04 tons of waste. Last year, that figure fell to 1,705,392.91 tons, a 12 percent reduction. Normally, this would be cause for rejoice. Then Holland revealed the reason behind the decline… “The predominate reason is the loss of population.” Yep, the massive evacuation away this land we call home – second only to the county housing New Orleans – is having the unintended consequence of making Cuyahoga a cleaner place. “It’s a simple fact,” says Holland. “People are the ones who produce waste. And if they are not here, there’s no waste to pick-up.” We can also tip our hat to global warming for an assist on this latest score. Last summer was hot, stunting plant growth. People didn’t cut their lawns as much, and that meant people didn’t put as many grass clippings into the trash. But at this point in the presentation, the commissioners started to drift off. Think of it as giving a speech to the special ed class at Herbert Hoover Elementary. The room was packed and hot and it was nearing dinner time – the one thing Chairman Jimmy Dimora takes very seriously. The board thanked Holland and didn’t let him get to his obvious conclusion. “I didn’t get to really say that the reports on waste disposal confirm what everyone is seeing in the census reports. Our county population, not just the city of Cleveland, is going down. We now have hard evidence.” Then he adds: “But the one benefit to all this is that the city can save some money. It won’t cost as much to dispose trash.” – Bradley Campbell

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