Pajamagate: The really scary part is that these people run our government


"Your honor, if you refer to page 34 of our amicus brief, I believe we clearly demonstrate..."
Now that text messages have been introduced as the smoking gun in Attorney General Marc Dann’s sexual harassment scandal, it’s forcing us to contemplate just how low – or high – we’ve sunk as a society. Thanks to modern technology, we can all sip our coffee and salivate over the grammatically-challenged ramblings of a drunk girl who happens to work for some of the most powerful men in the state. The messages, published in today’s PD, were sent by a woman who has accused Dann’s director of general services, Anthony Gutierrez, of pressuring her for sex. On the night in question last September, she says Gutierrez — her boss -- took her out for drinks, then back to a Columbus apartment he shared with Dann. Feeling more than a little wasted, she asked to lie down. When she woke up, she says her pants were unbuttoned and Gutierrez was lying next to her in his underwear… Apparently, before she fell asleep, the 26-year-old woman texted a friend, asking her to pick her up and get her out of this “weird situation.” In fact, she sent at least nine messages. Which is why were are now subjected to reading such gems as, “Girl. . .im in a weird situation. .iem w marc dan. . . .drunnnnk.” The upside: The state of Ohio employs people with some serious fine motor skills. Take a little scroll through your cell phone inbox. When’s the last time you received anything with more than three vowels and appropriately-placed punctuation? Despite her inebriated stupor, the woman managed to type out the attorney general’s first and last names. She also included the full name of Dann’s scheduler, Jessica Utovich, who allegedly was at the apartment, too. For a hammered lady, this is akin this to climbing Mount Everest while carrying three Sherpa guides and a case of frozen halibut. But reading her messages also makes you realize that people with writing skills on par with my 12-year-old cousin’s — “Giri. .we got to talk. . .solo. .luv u. .” — are working in the highest levels of state government. And that, dear friends, is sooo lol scary. – Lisa Rab


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