Onion-Span: Congress debates the mysterious origins of Pronk

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Most sports nicknames have some semblance of reason. It’s pretty obvious why Alex Rodriguez is called A-Rod, why LeBron James is King James, why Daniel Gibson is called Boobie (ok, that not so obvious). But what kind of nickname is Pronk? We’ve heard the tale that Pronk is a combination of Hafner’s two previous nicknames: “Project” and “Donkey.” If you’ve ever seen him play first base, donkey seems to fit. And the project part hails from the days when he was still a minor league project... But not everyone seems to understand. The above Onion video features politicians debating the genesis and meaning of “pronk.” In one scene, a congressman from Virginia and a committee chairman engage in verbal sparring over the word. “I’m beginning to think you just made the word up,” the speaker says. “That’s pronk-rageous,” Representative William Cummings replies angrily.” To which another congresswoman jumps in. “I’ve been to the 11th district, and I’ve never heard the word ‘pronk.’” “That’s pronk-surd,” Cummings cries. Indeed. –Rebecca Meiser

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