Celebrate being cheap and fat! Tuesday is Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry’s!

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If you’re cheap and fat, Tuesday, April 29th is your Kwanzaa. That’s when Ben & Jerry’s, for reasons having to do with charity that we totally didn’t read, gives away free ice cream cones at participating (the cheapskates) locations nationwide. We’ve provided a map giving directions between the two local participating scoop shops above. Consider it your road to glory. And by glory, we mean man-boobs. Since we don’t like to travel — wedging ourselves in and out of the Grand Prix gets cumbersome — we’ll probably just hunker down in one location and skirt the one-per-customer rules through the magic of a fake moustache. – Gus Garcia-Roberts

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