Attention Cleveland: Don’t eat that fig newton lying on the ground


We know how it is. One day you’re walking down the block, minding your own business, when suddenly you see some tasty morsel just sitting there on the sidewalk. Question is: do you eat it? Most days C-Notes would say go for it (we’re big proponents of the 35-second rule). But next week, the game changes, as they say. ... Starting Monday, the Department of Health will begin scattering 42,000 fig newton-like pellets around Cuyahoga County. ... The initiative, in its fifth year, is an attempt to keep roving bands of froth-mouthed raccoons from overtaking our fair city. Packed inside of the pellets is a juicy red liquid that doubles as a rabies vaccine and, we suspect, tastes decidedly worse than an actual Fig Newton. Joe Lynch, a health department employee who’ll be hurling the tasty nuggets, says he mostly aims for raccoon habitats like woods, creeks, and dumpsters. But he can’t promise that a few of the delicious-looking treats won’t land in the path of a hungry Clevelander. “It’s OK if your dog or cat eats it,” says Lynch. But that’s where he draws the line: “They’re definitely not for human consumption.” Don’t say you weren't warned. -- Caleb Hannan

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