Attention Cleveland: Don’t eat that fig newton lying on the ground

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We know how it is. One day you’re walking down the block, minding your own business, when suddenly you see some tasty morsel just sitting there on the sidewalk. Question is: do you eat it? Most days C-Notes would say go for it (we’re big proponents of the 35-second rule). But next week, the game changes, as they say. ... Starting Monday, the Department of Health will begin scattering 42,000 fig newton-like pellets around Cuyahoga County. ... The initiative, in its fifth year, is an attempt to keep roving bands of froth-mouthed raccoons from overtaking our fair city. Packed inside of the pellets is a juicy red liquid that doubles as a rabies vaccine and, we suspect, tastes decidedly worse than an actual Fig Newton. Joe Lynch, a health department employee who’ll be hurling the tasty nuggets, says he mostly aims for raccoon habitats like woods, creeks, and dumpsters. But he can’t promise that a few of the delicious-looking treats won’t land in the path of a hungry Clevelander. “It’s OK if your dog or cat eats it,” says Lynch. But that’s where he draws the line: “They’re definitely not for human consumption.” Don’t say you weren't warned. -- Caleb Hannan

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