Joe Borowski to pitch Monday in Eastlake. It's dollar-beer night. You with us so far?

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Joe Borowski + dollar beers = The Best Night Ever.
Seeing Joe Borowski make a rehab appearance for the Indians single-A affiliate Lake County Captains doesn’t really tingle the baseball bone on its own merit – even if, like me, you feel that single-A is really where JoeBlow belongs. Likewise, getting $1 beers, hot dogs, and soda pops sounds like a big draw at first, for everyone excited about nitrates and alcohol. But the sobering reality of gas prices really tempers any enthusiasm for such a deliciously destructive bargain, at least if you live west of the river like I do. The confluence of these two events, however, equals must-see baseball. ... Joe Borowski will make a rehab appearance with the Captains Monday, May 19, which just happens to also be Buck Night at Classic Park, meaning $1 beers, $1 beers, $1 hot dogs, and $1 beers. Do you realize how close you’ll be sitting to the Indians past and future closer? Any idea what creative invectives you could come up with off a mere $5 buzz? Since Eastlake kindly features one of those speed-gun things, you can start by telling him your fastball clocked higher than his 80 mph eephus, even after 10 beers and 10 hot dogs. Transition to vulgarity after that. If heckling poor JoeBlow isn’t your game, at least come out to see him pitching against guys he might get out, because once he gets the call back to Cleveland, that’s probably not going to happen again. Oh, and Jake Westbrook is making a rehab start Sunday for the Captains, but there are no $1 beers and he pitches so quickly it’ll be over before you remember you ever drove to Eastlake. Check out www.captainsbaseball.com for tickets. And bring a designated driver. – Vince Grzegorek

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