Cleveland’s new marketing slogan: “We’re Close to Everything, Just Like Fort Wayne!”

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The%20office%20lady.jpg
That lady from the office was born in Fort Wayne. It's a pretty good show, don't you think?
You have to feel for the folks at Cleveland’s Convention and Visitors Bureau, those brave souls who market our Venice of the Rust Belt who prefer their waterfront vacations to be unscented by raw sewage. We know we’re a fabulous vacation destination, with our cheap beer, fabulous music scene, unparalled selection of pierogis. But how do we explain that to tourists who just don’t know any better? That’s where Positively Cleveland, the convention bureau’s website, comes in. Its latest tactic is to dismiss Cleveland’s rep for being flyover country, and instead point out that we’re close to pretty much everywhere… “Luckily for you, Cleveland is conveniently located within 500 miles of 43% of the U.S. population, making it accessible from practically anywhere,” the site boasts. Hmm. It’s true we are in the Midwest, very centrally located and all. But is that really our best selling point? Even with a gallon of gas costing the rough equivalent of a cashmere sweater, but Fort Wayne, Indiana can claim the same thing, and they have lots of Amish people to gawk at. —Lisa Rab

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