Sgt. Masai Brown’s poetry of online love, courtesy of the Woodmere Police Department

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A model sports the new uniform of the Woodmere Police Department
Last week, Scene brought you an update on Masai Brown, a Woodmere police officer with a record longer than Ol’ Dirty Bastard. In 1999, the cop was picked up for soliciting – than shooting at – a Cleveland hooker. Other career highlights include falsifying police records and coercing other officers to lie for him. For all these misdeeds, Brown was promoted first to detective, then to sergeant. Last week, as part of a federal investigation into the inner workings of Woodmere, officials retrieved Brown’s flash drive from his work computer... Seems Brown’s not only a lothario, he’s quite the poet too. It seems Brown spends much of his work time working on his pickup lines on the barely clothed babes at onlinebootycall.com. Consider these fabulous one-liners sent to different women on a single day from his Woodmere Police computer: To one woman: “Hey sexy. How are you?” To a different female: “Do you have a dude? Are you single? Do you want to meet?” To another: “Love your pic” And another: “Let’s meet and see if we like each other.” And yet another: If you want to talk, I’m a good listener.” And to “Erica Turner,” a woman who may or may not be his real-life girlfriend: “When we fight I want to know that we can make up without me seeing you in some other nigga’s face …[for now] Just show me some love and fuck my brains out and everything will be cool.” Brilliant. – Rebecca Meiser

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