Egyptian pope “breaks thigh,” headed to Cleveland. Must be the pork

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Pope Shenouda III: conduit with God and BBQ aficionado.
With all the bad news coming out of Cleveland lately, it’s nice to know the city can still attract A-list tourists. Case in point: Pope Shenouda III. Shenouda, known to his friends as “the Nood,” is the 85-year-old leader of the Coptic Church, a minority sect in Egypt. According to the L.A. Times, the pope slipped on a carpet in his home on Monday, breaking his thigh bone in the fall. After lying on the floor for eight hours in what we can only imagine was excruciating pain (the Pope doesn’t have a personal assistant?), his Holiness was loaded onto an Egyptian air-ambulance for the transatlantic flight to Cleveland. ... Now we here at C-Notes would never want to speculate. After all, that’s not what blogs are for (stifled laughter). But in all this “Pope-slipping-on-a-carpet” business, we think we’ve discovered an alternate explanation for why a Middle Eastern spiritual leader would fly 9,000 miles for surgery. World-class medical care? Nope, it’s gotta be the ribs. For pork-lovers, life in Cairo has to be rough. Egypt is predominantly Muslim, a faith that has a strict “no-chewing” policy when it comes to the snouted kind. We can only assume that on Shenouda’s last visit to the Cleve, two years ago for back surgery, he-of-the-pointy-hat partook of some of Hot Sauce Williams’ finest. And it sounds like this recent injury may have been just another excuse to get a second taste of Hot Sauce’s “special blend” of rubs and spices. So if you see a guy on E. 79th and Carenegie, looking like he just limped away from a medieval recreation festival, be quick to give him a hand. After all, he only came here because he was hungry. And we could certainly use the business. – Caleb Hannan

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