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c53d/1248974447-adams.jpgThrice-married admitted porn addict Phil Burress of Cincinnati’s Citizens for Community Values ("Policing Ohio’s Bedrooms for More Than 25 Years") must be working the phones again. A couple of weeks ago, state legislator John Adams (pictured), a Republican from the west-central part of Ohio, re-introduced what’s being billed as “a father’s right to choose” legislation. In reality, it’s “a father’s right to dictate.”

HB 252 would require written permission from the father before a woman could get an abortion; no permission, she’s out of luck. In cases of rape, the woman would be forced to file charges first, no matter what the circumstances; in cases of incest, an underaged woman would somehow have to force her father/grandfather/uncle to take a paternity test that could lead to his prosecution. A woman who’s not sure would have to get all potential fathers to take paternity tests as well and if she just doesn’t know who it might be, tough luck. It even requires the man’s permission if the fetus dies in the womb, unless a woman’s life or health is threatened.

The bill provides criminal penalties for a woman having an abortion without permission or giving incorrect information about the father’s identity (perhaps to prevent women from naming Adams out of understandable spite.)

“There needs to be responsibility for actions,” Adams told Central Ohio’s Daily Reporter. “There is merit to chastity and young men and women waiting until marriage.”

Adams has 15 cosponsors, all old white men, mostly western and rural Ohio Republicans with the exception of Roland Winburn of Dayton who’s apparently suffering from an excess of hardline conservative Catholicism.

Some progressive blogs and groups like Planned Parenthood are pretending to freak out in order to use this ludicrous proposal to their advantage. A Planned Parenthood e-mail hyperventilates, “This legislation could be scheduled for a hearing at any time. It has received increased attention in recent days, and was a featured story on WBNS, Columbus’ CBS affiliate. We need your donation to defeat this bill.”

Well, actually, they don’t. This bill is a close facsimile of one that Adams and eight cosponsors introduced in 2007 that went nowhere back then, when Republicans controlled the state House of Representatives. Now Democrats control it. This one’s strictly for show. Clearly, these legislators expect nothing more out of this than a beneficent smile and pat on the head — and perhaps a little campaign support — from self-appointed moral guardians like thrice-married, admitted porn addict Burress. — Anastasia Pantsios

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