Ohioans Really Pumped About Chance to Lose Money Playing Powerball



Powerball lottery winner
  • You have a 1 in 195 million chance of being able to afford this dude's hat.

The multi-state behemoth of Powerball officially comes to Ohio tomorrow, providing the Buckeye State with yet another outlet to satisfy its apparently insatiable appetite to gamble on stuff.

With the Ohio Lottery's litany of games, Keno, scratch offs, Mega Millions, horse tracks, the soon-to-be operational casinos, bingo halls and your friendly local neighborhood game of dominoes, you'd think the market would be pretty saturated. You'd be wrong. We might not have a lot of money, but with what little we have left, we really like to wager. That, and drink. Maybe drink, then wager, then drink again.

Who's excited? Everyone!

The state's taking any opportunity to stop the fiscal hemorrhaging, so they're totally pumped. The addicted masses? Who wouldn't jump at the 1 in 195 million chance to take home some of the biggest jackpots in the country and all the spoils that go along with it — accepting the novelty check in jorts and a wife beater, telling your boss to screw himself, withholding money from all the relatives you don't like, and buying a McMansion that will be foreclosed on within five years once you're broke.

The dailies around the state have done their due diligence and rounded up quotes from ordinary people totally jazzed about Powerball's arrival. The We Don't Have to Drive to West Virginia to Play Anymore! and Investment 101: We Never Win, But We're Going to Win roundup below.

From the Toledo Blade:

One customer, Kurt Pryka, 25, said he already plays Mega Millions and Pick 3 every week, but welcomes the chance to try something new.

“One of these days, I think I'm going to get lucky,” Mr. Pryka said. “With this Powerball coming, I think my chances are up.”

Absolutely, dude.

From the Coshocton Tribune:

Pat Barker cashed in a $10 winner from the Ohio Lottery's Blackjack instant game at the Upper BP Mart on Wednesday afternoon.

"The most I've ever won is $1,000, and it's been so long ago I don't remember what game it was," Barker said.

She usually plays the Mega Millions on Tuesday and Fridays and has seen the TV advertisements for a new multimillion-dollar game that will be available in Ohio this weekend.

Keep plugging, honey.

From the Zainesville Times Recorder:

Diane Gibson, of Philo, loves her scratch-off lottery tickets and daily number drawings.

But she's also looking forward to this weekend's rollout of Powerball in Ohio.

"I never win anyway, but it's fun. I will probably play it more often," Gibson said, while buying other tickets Tuesday at the Maple Avenue Moto Mart store. "I think a lot of people will play it, because people have to go to West Virginia for it now. It was a good idea to bring it to Ohio."

And there you have it. Bonus: You no longer have to drive to West Virginia for the Wednesday and Saturday drawings of Powerball every week. Double bonus: You can put that gas money towards Powerball!

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