Why We Might Not Be Going to Elyria Anytime Soon

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Might have to strap beer to your belly if you want booze in Elyria.
  • Might have to strap beer to your belly if you want booze in Elyria.

Booze and Cleveland go together like, well... booze and Cleveland. Or maybe Jimmy Dimora and Hometown Buffet. Either way.

There's been a string of crime in Elyria and the city is blaming it on the bars that populate the downtown area and serve refreshing, crime-inducing alcohol to patrons. If the bars don't shape up, and soon, there's talk of Elyria going dry. Entries for "dry," as it pertains to alcohol, in the thesaurus include "boring" and "stupid."

The depressing details after the jump.

Prohibiting alcohol in the area is not something anyone wants to see happen, but the shootings and fights that take place downtown nearly every weekend are stretching the manpower of the Elyria Police Department. So instead of forcing city officials to take drastic measures, Mayor Bill Grace said he simply wants bar owners to police themselves.

“Criminal activity is being condoned and nurtured in these establishments and this has to stop,” he said. “We are getting to the point where the owners of these establishments will force the city to take dras­tic measures.”

Cross Elyria off Scene's summer travel itinerary, unless that "beer belly" pouch thing really works. We're not above sucking down beer through a tube attached to a bag on our stomach.

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