Good afternoon, Cleveland. Here's some stuff to read while you look through the garbage for every Mega Millions ticket you've tossed in the last two years.
— A fired sports anchor who used to work in Ohio didn't really know what to do once he got whacked. Well, he didn't know for about one day. Then he decided to pick up a guitar and travel the country playing open-mic nights. I've always had a similar plan. The only difference is mine involves a theremin. (ABC)
— Mansfield city workers are upset with the new dress code. No more loud nail polish, girls and boys. And no flip-flops. And no scarves while inside. Next they're going to say workers have to wear pants, too. The nerve. (WDTN)
— There's a winning Mega Millions ticket worth $250,000 sitting somewhere, maybe a landfill. It was bought at Park Marathon in Tuscarawas County for the Dec. 18, 2009 drawing and hasn't been redeemed. Someone's going to feel like an idiot tonight. (NewsNet5)
— A funeral home in Findlay, Ohio, is being shut down because the funeral director walks around naked too much. Inspectors also found that bodies were kept in unsanitary condition for embalming. No crap. See: Funeral Home Director, Naked. (Wire News)