Good morning, Cleveland. Here's some stuff to read while you ignore your children for their own benefit.
— Research shows that leaving kids unattended to play bolsters their "executive abilities" and self-regulation. "Executive abilities" would be skills like big kids beating up smaller kids, and "self-regulation" would be skills like the smaller kids learning to be really fast to run away. We assume. It's not like we had any personal experience with that second part or anything. (Cleveland.com)
— Cedar Point's new water ride, which was supposed to be open a month ago, is finally operational. Cedar Point says riders are now lining up in hordes for Shoot the Rapids. Also, leering gawkers are probably lining up to see all the hot girls walk off the ride all wet. Pervs. (AP)
— Who wants Indians tickets? For the most part, nobody. Unless you're a mail carrier in Akron and you just steal them from people's mail. (Ohio.com)
— St. Emeric's is the 50th church to close in Cleveland. Expect golf courses to get that much busier on Sunday morning. (AP)