Tom Cruise fans attacked at theater, guy probably dumped

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Chemistry
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Here’s a tip for all you Romeos out there in internetland: when you and your Juliet are attacked by a duo of muggers, don’t run away and leave the lady to take the brunt of the beating solo.

According to developments from Cleveland’s number one daily news source starting with the letter “P”, a scuffle at Shaker Square on Tuesday night resulted in injuries to five people. The altercation happened at the Colony Theater. Reports say 22 year-old Lawrence Butler and 19 year-old Jazzalyn Primous arrived at the theater and bought tickets for the 11:30 p.m. showing of the Tom Cruise-Cameron Diaz kiss kiss bang bang “Knight and Day.” But instead of settling in with a drink and popcorn, the pair accosted another couple in the theater, a 24 year-old Willowick man and his 26 year-old girlfriend from Cleveland Heights. The pair demanded the couples’ wallets, then struck the guy with an unidentified object. He booked out of the theater, leaving behind a damsel in distress. The couple attacked the girl, grabbed her purse, and moved on to attack others in the room.

“The Cleveland Heights woman suffered a fractured skull and ruptured eardrum and was admitted to Huron Hospital. The Willowick man required 10 staples to close a head wound,” the PD reports.

Butler and Primous also attacked a 52-year old man and two women, 49 and 26. They escaped the theater through a side door and were eventually arrested around noon the next day.

So, pop quiz: late night movie, girlfriend and you, not a lot of people in the theater, sneak attack from muggers, what do you do? Quick, don’t think too much about it . . .

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