Good morning, Cleveland. Here's some stuff to read while you reconsider that doughnut you were going to have for breakfast.
— A 600-pound woman already has the record for being the heaviest person ever to give birth. As the Ohio.com report says, it will become official later this year when they "roll her out" for the ceremonies in New York. Not satisfied with that title, she's stuffing her face in hopes of getting close to 1000-pounds. A Columbus fire fighter just shook his head. (Ohio.com)
— John Kasich released his first campaign video. In it he defends his ties to Wall Street. His second commercial will defend his time as the Devil's ice dancing partner. Ohioans will rejoice and forgive him. (Cleveland.com)
— Dan Gilbert made some veiled references to LeBron James during a Quicken Loans orientation meeting for new employees. Attendees left entertained but saddened the Power Point presentation was not in Comic Sans. (Detroit News)
— A CMSD substitute teacher was arrested for possession of a gun and drugs. We all want our teachers to find more ways to bond with students these days, so can we really be that upset? (WOIO)