Good afternoon, Cleveland. Here's some stuff to read while you stuff a tenderloin in your pants and see how far you can run without it falling out.
— Another day, another case of meat theft at a Cleveland-area grocery store. A man and a woman pilfered four tenderloins from a Chagrin Falls Giant Eagle. Staff who noticed the conspicuous duo stuffing meat in their pants then chased the couple. Once outside, the thieves ditched the stolen meat in a garden bed. Thankfully, Giant Eagle recovered the goods, which are most likely sitting in a cooler awaiting a new customer. (Cleveland.com)
— An Ohio prison guard has been fired for some threatening posts he left on Facebook about management. Something about "hunting season." I prefer to leave threatening messages about my editor right here on the blog, which he obviously reads on a daily basis. Hey, bud! That leaves my Facebook page wide open for chatting with my second girlfriend. It's cool, my first one's not on Facebook. (AP)
— It's taken ten years, but the project to widen I-71 between Cuyahoga County and Morrow County has finally been completed. No more orange barrels! At least until the concrete starts cracking and they have to repave it, so you've got like a year and a half to enjoy it, Ohioans. (Ohio.com)
— An Alliance, OH, woman led police on a short chase last night. She was arrested for DUI and allegedly hurled a bottle of beer at the cops mid-chase. That surely made them happy. (Fox 8)