James Hubbell was desperate for a place to stay. He must have been to call the cops and tell them he was drunk, driving around, and they should pick him up and throw him in jail.
Hubbell, 64, had been kicked out of his house the day before by police because of a protection order. He dealt with this crushing blow to his manhood like any man would in his situation: he went out and got plastered.
Of course, Hubbell had nowhere to return home. So he dialed up the cops, figuring he could spend the night in jail.
"I want you to put me in jail, alright, cause I got no place to (expletive) go!"
"What are we going to put you in jail for?"
"I'm drunk and I'm driving, so (expletive) pick me up and take me to jail."
The police obliged. When they got Hubbell back to the station the 64-year-old failed sobriety tests and went to bed.
Naturally, he pleaded not guilty to drunken driving on Monday.
Good luck with that. "I'm drunk and driving," might be used by the prosecution in his case. Just a guess.