The evolution of the workforce in Northeast Ohio has gone something like this: There were dock workers and steel workers until no one needed dock workers or steel workers anymore. Then there were comfy manufacturing jobs until the economy tanked. Then Clevelanders fell under a category which, though there's no official name, could be classified comfortably as "We'll do anything for $10. No, really, anything." Then the FBI cracked down on our government officials and it seems that defense lawyers are doing well for themselves these days.
But what's next?
Casino workers look to be the next wave. With Dan Gilbert's personal printing press opening soon, there will be cards to deal, dice to look after, and lots of money to be stuffed in those little bins where the casino holds its winnings.
You don't have to be certified or trained to be a casino worker, but there are a few avenues that give you a leg up. One is having worked in a casino before. Another would be being a relative of Dan Gilbert. For the rest of us, however, there's casino schools, which don't guarantee you a job but which apparently don't hurt.
The Ohio School of Casino Dealers will be open soon, launched by 73-year-old entrepreneur Sonny Moss. 4000 square feet of gleaming tables and cards await you, desperate Clevelanders, in Warrensville Heights. No longer will you have to venture to Detroit, southern Ohio, or West Virginia for the privilege of dropping a couple thousand dollars to learn how to shuffle cards.
For the low, low price of between $799-$4000 you can learn how to take your fellow brothers' money while earning a fat paycheck for yourself. (Casino jobs usually pay really well.)
Blackjack, roulette, craps, 21 — whatever — Sonny is ready to teach you how to get a leg up on the competition.
"I'm just an entrepreneur, contractor, restaurateur, artist, and I enjoy craps and roulette," says Moss. "We're starting a little early, two years before the major casino opens, because of the demand."
If this blog appears to slow down in future weeks, it's probably because we're there too.