by Kyle Swenson
— . . . and in conclusion, I’d like to tell my kids that I’ll alwa
— Sorry, Jeff. That’s it. You’ve used up your 140 characters. Throw the switch, Doc.
A new law in Ohio may put a word length on the last words of death row inmates. Yeah, that’s right, read that line again: They may cut off people when they’re, you know, saying the last thing they’ll ever say.
This latest ridiculousness was sparked thanks to Michael Beuke, a hitchhiker who went on a killing spree that claimed three. When it came time for his last words before lights out, Beuke spent 17 minutes reciting the rosary, praying, and saying he was sorry.
After the state fried him, officials decided to revisit the statute that allows for last words because Beuke’s cut into too many state employees’ dinner hour. Or something. According to the Daily Mail, state spokesperson Julie Walburn says prison officials would only use the cut-off “carefully” and “in a thoughtful manner.”