Good afternoon, Cleveland. Here's some stuff to read while think about how cool it would be to work in a building shaped like a giant freaking picnic basket.
— A Burger King employee stabbed another Burger King employee because he thought he was spreading rumors about him. At least he didn't make him eat a Whopper. (WOIO)
— There was an accident near a Longaberger building in Newark, OH — a story we liked mainly because we enjoy looking at Longaberger buildings. (NewsNet5)
— Gov-elect John Kasich warns that the state could take over control of Cleveland schools if performance doesn't improve. That would totally fix everything! (Cleveland.com)
— Who would have thought that Enzyte, that bogus pill marketed as a solution for guys wanting bigger, ahem, appendages, would be involved in a potentially critical civil rights ruling involving privacy? (AP)