The Quality of Cleveland Life Report

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Wherein we use math to tell you what kind of week it is for Clevelanders. And by math, we mean drink a 40 with a guy we know who calls himself "Al Go Rhythm."

The New You Is Old Again ... : Area gym memberships are up, but the sheen of the new year is fading quickly. Mid-January is when you say to yourself, “I’ll hit the gym next week.” Of course, your self will find something way better on TV by then.

The Browns Are Still Hiring ... : Our proud franchise is like that deserted restaurant at the corner of your street that hangs an “Under New Management” sign outside every couple of years in hopes of luring back customers. Then you go back and find the meatloaf tastes the same.

Everybody Else Is Still Jobless ...: Mark Sniderman, executive large boss at the Cleveland Federal Reserve, says unemployment may not drop till 2013. Which makes now a great time to send friends that “Keeping your job is the new raise” greeting from SomeECards.com. Hilarious.

The Index: You’ve got a back seat on the struggle bus this week, Cleveland. And Michael Stanley is sitting next to you, playing a sad trombone.

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