No matter how badly you think your romantic partner performs in bed, and even if you compare him/her to a dead fish, it's still hard to miss all the signs that they are technically alive. If you're not one of those sickos into necrophilia, then those vitals — breathing, warmth, heart beat, etc. — are pretty important when you're canoodling with someone.
Richard Elwood Sanden, a 55-year-old from Geneva, has been accused of having sex with a corpse, and his excuse is that he missed all those signs and remained woefully ignorant of the fact that his partner was actually dead as he was plowing away.
Richard Elwood Sanden, 55, of Geneva, Ohio, was being held on $500,000 bond Wednesday in the Daviess County Jail in Washington, Ind., on charges including abuse of a corpse and possession of marijuana.
The Washington Times-Herald reports police arrested Sanden on Saturday night after they were called to the dead woman's apartment.
The newspaper reports Sanden told police he was having sex with the 48-year-old woman whom he had known for a few months when he realized she wasn't breathing. He told police he administered CPR and called an ambulance.
Also likely in Sanden's Rolodex of sexual excuses: "I didn't hear you say the safe word," and, "I had no idea it was the wrong hole."