Ohio Kids Are Smart

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Its just my dad asking for money again, no biggie.
  • "It's just my dad asking for money again, no biggie."

The Daily Beast compiled data on reading and math scores from fourth and eighth graders across the country and Ohio landed in the 10th spot, proving that despite our best efforts, our kids are actually pretty smart. Well, at least on standardized tests, which when we think about it, doesn't really mean squat.

We'll take the accolades when we can, though, and this newest trophy of Ohio's great promise keeps us warm and fuzzy because we'll all need our smart kids to provide for us later in life when we'll be sadly destitute. 401k? What 401k?


Advanced level fourth graders, Math: 8%
Advanced level eighth graders, Math: 8%
Advanced level fourth graders, Reading: 9%
Advanced level eighth graders, Reading: 3%

Massachusetts claimed the vaunted top spot, which coincidentally is probably the state all our smart kids will go to college in and leave us poor and alone on the home front. But whatever, we're not bitter.

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