Medina Students Will Take Their Dry Humping Elsewhere

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School dances in Medina have come under the microscope in recent weeks for a few reasons. First, it was because the district announced there would be a breathalyzer test for kids to get into the dance, a measure instituted in good faith to ensure revelers didn't show up on the sauce.

But that's not what has students concerned the most. They, and their hormones, disagree with a new rule that prohibits "dirty dancing," which, as you can guess, frowns upon any dance activity that doesn't leave ample room for the Holy Spirit.

So on the same day as the Sweetheart's Dance at the high school, students have organized a separate, private affair at a local country club where they are free to bump and grind the night away.

The Medina Gazette reports on the stark differences in crotch-to-ass ratios that will be present at each soiree.

“The dancing my generation is into now, it’s what we know. And the generation before us have a problem with our dancing, and the generation that came before them had a problem with their dancing. It’s been going on for generations,” said Nick Summers, a 17-year-old who helped organize the dance.

[snip]

Many of the students who organized the dance did not want to be named because they feared they could be kicked off sports teams and school clubs for attending, Summers said. He said he graduated early and wasn’t worried about getting into trouble.

The students promoted the dance through Facebook and word of mouth, he said.

He said as long as there was “nothing X-rated,” students could “do the typical grinding” on the dance floor.

“People had a problem with the way the Beatles danced when they first came out,” he said. “It’s like that every generation.”

That has to be the first use of "typical grinding" ever to make the pages of the Medina Gazette, right?

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