Shooting at Columbus Uber-Mall Easton

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Thats a big mall.
  • That's a big mall.

Columbus, as any true-blue Clevelander knows, is a nice town. Too nice. Outside of OSU’s big, fratty sprawl, the state capital is about as exciting as a sneeze. That said, topping the list of reasons to stop by our southern neighbor is the area’s very own Emerald City just north of city proper, a retail Mecca fielding hordes of adoring pilgrims: Easton Town Center

The huge shrink-wrapped, chain-store choked, Mulberry-aping Easton is an uber-mall, a veritable shine to consumer spending, so much so that the site reportedly made the short-list of possible attack sites for Al Qaeda. Unfortunately, the mall was the scene of gun violence this weekend. And the people of Easton are not exactly acting like Good Upstanding Citizens in the wake of the incident.

On Saturday night a 15-year-old boy was shot at the mall, according to the Columbus Dispatch. The victim — Andrake D. Kelley — was taken to the hospital and placed in critical condition. The altercation allegedly started in the Apple Store and spilled out into the street, where the shooting happened.

No suspects have been identified, although a group of teens were held for questioning. The cops, however, aren’t getting any help from the money-spending hordes on-hand for the incident. Everybody’s clammed up.

If you’ve ever strolled around the uber-mall, you’ll notice one thing: it’s always jammed. Particularly on the weekend, this sucker is stuffed with gaggles of high schoollers burning up their ‘rents’ coin, suburban housewives sniffing out the latest trends, dragged-along husbands dying the small death. But none of the weekenders have offered up eyewitness info. The good suburban folk of Columbus must be familiar with the wise words of Cleveland’s former son, Delonte West: Snitches get stitches.

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