Nothing against a healthy fetish or two, but when a judge has to name a brand new charge—that of "urine collector," for example — just for you, it might be a signal that you shouldn't take your preoccupation to the next level, particularly if minors are involved. But a 59-year-old Dublin, OH man didn't take it that way.
Back in 2008, Alan David Paton spent the mazimum 60 days in jail for criminal mischief after attempting to collect urine in the restroom at an area sports park. In October 2010, he did it again, this time at a Burger King. And yesterday he was convicted of criminal mischief for the second time.
The Columbus Dispatch did its best to explain Patton's collecting methods but there is plenty left to the imagination as far as the details.
The Dispatch reports:
Patton was in the Burger King bathroom for nearly an hour on Oct. 29, said an off-duty Delaware County deputy who encountered him. The deputy, Brian Blair, testified that when he brought his 3-year-old son into the restroom, Patton was in the single stall. When Patton left, Blair found the toilet filled with seat liners and toilet paper, unable to flush.
Patton went back into the stall after Blair left with his son. Blair went back to the bathroom and heard paper rustling in the stall where Patton was.
Blair left, came back a third time, and found the toilet cleaned out and flushing properly. The room smelled strongly of urine, he said, and Patton was carrying a paper Burger King bag. Patton left, and Blair wrote down his license plate number. Patton was arrested on Nov. 5 and was carrying blue latex gloves and a clear plastic bag at the time.
Patton's attorney, Christopher Soon, presented no witnesses. He called the case "laughable."
We question whether it is laughable. Patton is a sex offender and spent four-and-a-half yeara in prison after fondling a boy while trying to collect urine at Magic Mountain Fun Centers in 1993.