Everything Is Flooded

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Chances are if you're reading this you are under water. Perhaps in a submarine. Maybe just doggy paddling it to the mailbox. We were going to brief you on the list of roads and cities that are currently submerged, but the list grew too long. We're under the working assumption that if we walk outside of our office right now, we'll need scuba gear and a ride to our car courtesy of a mermaid.

Be careful driving today, folks. Don't be like this guy and have to be rescued — while wearing what appear to be purple pants, mind you — by an industrial machine and some firefighters.

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