The Quality of Cleveland Life Report

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Your guide to thriving in fabulous Cleveland.

Welcome to the Money Pit: Cuyahoga County to invite Tom Hanks and Shelley Long to ribbon-cutting ceremony at Juvenile Justice Center. Appearance fees considered a relative bargain compared to $3,000 ribbon.

College Town
: Local officials laud arrival of deep-pocketed tourists for the NCAA tournament until five frat guys from Syracuse buy Parma Heights for $37. Now must explain to elderly residents why half of city budget earmarked for red Solo cups.

Gouged at the Pump: Frank Russo’s face disappears from all area gas stations — except that one Shell where he hangs out pumping Tom the mechanic for tips on copper thieves to sell to the Feds.

This Week's Index: If, hypothetically, there were an expensive men’s haberdashery where they hypothetically invited wealthy clients to smoke pot in the basement, you’d be feeling like one of those clients after a couple bong rips. Hypothetically.

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