One word, man: napkins. Hell, use your sleeve if you have to. Or shave.
19 Action News reports that 54-year-old William Thigpen was picked up on April 28th for shoplifting (this would be his 13th shoplifting offense). But that's not where the real nugget of this story resides.
Cops say Thigpen hit both a Family Dollar and a Sheetz, grabbing Bic lighters from the discount store and an Oreo Cream Pie and a can o' beer from the gas station. His path to a quiet night at home lighting stuff on fire and getting mildly tipsy hit a snag, though. You see, Thigpen was hungry right then and there, so he absconded to Sheetz's bathroom to polish off the Oreo treat before making his getaway.
Unfortunately, he never wiped his mouth, and as anyone with a mustache or beard knows, the "flavor saver" tends to catch remnants of whatever you're cramming into your maw. And so it was with our dapper, facial-haired friend.
Yes, when he was arrested, Thigpen still had cream from the Oreo in his mustache.