LeBron Says He's Still Rich, You're Still Poor

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During the postgame press conference last night after the Dallas Mavericks beat the Miami Heat to win the NBA Finals, LeBron James was asked whether he let it bother him that so many people wanted to see him fail.

Naturally, King James — the man who is humbled by everything: his talents, his life, his teammates, this yogurt, that black Cadillac, Good & Plenty, Arnold Palmer (the drink, not the man), that pen over there — took the opportunity to say how humbled the series and season made him, and that he understands why the public has turned on him, but he doesn't begrudge them those feelings. He uses it as fuel, hopes to turn them back into fans, and will work harder next year.

Just kidding. He actually said this:

"All the people that were rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today. They have the same personal problems they had today. I'm going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want to do with me and my family and be happy with that. So they can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy about not only myself, but the Miami Heat not accomplishing their goal. But they got to get back to the real world at some point."
(Via the AP)

Translation: I am rich. You are not. Nanananapoopoo.

Translation: I have a rocking, awesome life. You do not.

Today, LeBron James is probably sitting on the back porch of his mega mansion, and by porch, we mean that separate 4,000-square foot canopied pavilion where unicorns give supermodels back massages while LeBron frolics in a pool filled only with the tears of Chris Bosh, and he is rich and happy and oblivious to the fact that everyone else thinks the remark was flippant, defensive, ill-advised, and illustrative of LeBron's fragile adolescent mind. He's not hearing that noise.

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