Man Declares Love for Lolita Hostess and/or Lolita




One obviously sated soul took to Craigslist's Missed Connection section to proclaim his love for a hostess at Michael Symon's Lolita, but also Lolita itself. By the end, he may or may not be saying he wants to make love to the food.

So, anonymous hostess, if you read this and have ever dreamed of having sex with a stranger on a bed of shoe-string Lolita fries, we think we've found your match.

The hostess at Lolita... - m4w - 27 (Tremont)

You're beautiful, but I'm sure you knew that already. Those sandals, and that cute little dress of yours? Wow.

But, let's be honest, the reason I will love you forever is that you steered me towards a table where I could enjoy the late-night happy hour menu and thereby changed the course of history, or at least my life, permanently. That $5 bacon-egg-and-cheeseburger? Succulent. Those $5 chorizo mussels? Savory. The $5 goat cheese mac? Something else great that starts with "S" but which I am too drunk and/or food coma'd to think of right now. The $2 Sierras and the pot de creme weren't too shabby, either.

So, Ms. Hostess, would I like to get with you? Yes. But really, that vixen Lolita has stolen my heart and it is she whom I wish to bear my children. My delicious, duck fat fried potato children.

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Cleveland Scene. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Cleveland Scene, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club for as little as $5 a month.