Today in batshit crazy lawsuits...
OC Weekly reports on a young lady named Selina Miller who lives in both Columbus and California (apparently), and has filed a lawsuit against Denver's favorite visitor Kobe Bryant. Miller it seems wants cash from the NBA star because he didn't propose to her. Yes, that's correct.
According to the reports on the lawsuit, Miller claims to have had many sexual liaisons with Kobe and says "someone" (no, she doesn't specify, though it's easy to guess who she means) has an STD. Also that Bryant promised to put a ring on it, but didn't. Bryant, of course, is married to a lovely young lady who he bought a $999 billion dollar ring for after his Denver escapades.
If you think that the suit has no merit, is frivolous, and beyond that is, once again, batshit crazy, you'll be happy to know an Ohio judge agrees with you. Miller previously tried to file the claim in Ohio, but the judge tossed the suit as "not plausible." So she went west to California in her search for dollars.
"The plaintiff, Selina Miller, request [sic] breaching party, Kobe Bryant, to correct his failure to provide plaintiff with the purchase of a ring," reads the four-page suit.
Miller also stated why the National Basketball Association (NBA) superstar might not have given her a ring: "The defendant, Kobe Bryant, states he communicated with person [sic] stating Selina Miller is a prostitute."
Reached by telephone, Miller claimed that Bryant has repeatedly visited her for intimate relations.
"He likes playing games with women more than people know," said Miller. "I'm upset because he promised me a ring [during one visit], and then some other people influenced him, and I didn't get it. He thinks he can stop by my house any time he wants to. There are other women, too. One of them got a ring."
She also mentioned that someone—it's unclear who, exactly—"has a sexual transmitted disease."
In her lawsuit, Miller claimed that in the "original . . . contractual agreement" made by Bryant, he thought the "plaintiff's business name [was] Sulina Moler."
Sulina Moler... that actually sounds more accurate. (Sound it out phonetically.)