You don't want your name to pop up in the police blotters for any reason, but should you make a less than stellar life decision and face the wrath of Johnny Law, you hope your crime was simple, victimless, and not embarrassing.
Dying with a sex toy stuffed in your mouth isn't the way you want to go, for instance. Another: being described as drenched in your own vomit. Not pretty. Not a story you'll post on your Facebook page.
Via the Sandusky Register comes such an example:
Officers arrested a Willard woman Monday morning as she tried to sober up in a car parked near Wayne and Water streets, a Sandusky police report said.
Amber Beth Fife, 25, was charged with disorderly conduct.
Officers patrolling at about 2:30 a.m. drove by the area and noticed a pair of legs protruding from Fife’s car.
They stopped to investigate and found Fife covered in vomit inside the vehicle.
Fife told cops "Aunt Becky" was coming to pick her up, but "Aunt Becky" never showed and Fife was too inebriated to dial "Aunt Becky's" phone number, so she was arrested and released in the morning, presumably after being cleaned up.