Good afternoon, Cleveland. Here's some stuff to read while you very seriously debate the merits of scotch vs. beer for happy hour.
— When cops trailed a stolen car speeding at more than 100mph, they probably thought the criminals were trying to make a getaway. When the car crashed into a courthouse, they promptly realized they were dealing with the most helpful criminals in the world. (NewsNet5)
— Ohio decides not to take $176 million from the federal government for added unemployment benefits. Which is totally cool, because everyone has a job here. No worries, thanks anyway, guys. (AP)
— Ohio is one of the states, however, that will be using fed cash to expand broadband internet into rural areas. Searches for: Does Jimmy John's deliver to [insert city] to grow 152 percent. (AP)
— Analysts say Mitt Romney has the best numbers of any possible GOP candidate in Ohio. We don't know, we kind of like that Rick Parry guy Stephen Colbert has been talking about. (Dispatch)