Good afternoon, Cleveland. Here's some stuff to read while you decide whether you'll need four or five cases of beer to make it through the holiday weekend without leaving the house.
— A woman in Canton made a scene at a bar when she started spitting at patrons and telling them she had AIDS. (WOIO)
— Even the folks at Snapple can't believe the Snapple collection a Northeast Ohio man has amassed. Snapple Fact No. 173: If you're a Snapple collector, you probably are in danger of being blowjobbed to death. Yes, that joke was lifted from Wilfred, but we liked it and attributed it, so leave us alone. (Canton Rep)
— Kelley Williams-Bolar got bad news when the Ohio Parole Board unanimously voted to not grant her a pardon. Of course, she could just lie to everyone and say they did. (Cleveland.com)
— Case Western, of all places, manages to make Cleveland look cool in a video. The key: Including no Case students. (YouTube)
— A Burger King, a veteran, and a fight over a frayed American flag. (Sandusky Register)