Back in 2007, Ohio put a law on the books that said your friendly neighborhood strippers and dancers could not touch customers and vice versa. Your $10 or $20 could buy you all the eyefuls of flesh that you want, but no over-the-pants dry humping, no frisky contact, and certainly no sex in the champagne room. Besides saving you the price of a new pair of pants, the law was also a beacon of sanitation.
Strip club owners pleaded that the law was a violation of their free speech rights. In addition to the no-touch provision, the 2007 edict also barred dancers from getting totally nude after midnight, and made adult bookstores and peep shows close from midnight to 6 a.m., which didn't really solve anything except forcing more men to walk the embarrassing path from their car to the blinking neon "Adult" sign during broad daylight.
A federal judge had previously ruled that the law was good-to-go, and that decision was backed up Wednesday when the 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Cincinnati voted to uphold the law, according to the AP.
So sorry, Ohioans, if you want to be touched, you'll have to continue to do it yourself.