How was your weekend, average Clevelander? Did you have snake poop shoved in your mouth? No? Then you had a better weekend than Amber Pennell.
The Chronicle Telegram reports that Pennell, 21, had a tiff with Matthew Rudisill, 24, with whom she has a child and house with.
It all started when our gentleman called our lady and told her he was going to trash her bedroom. She hustled back home to find nothing wrong with her room but Rudisill waiting for her. She understandably was not pleased and wanted to get the hell out of Dodge, but Rudisill blocked her exit and wielded his pet coral snake (poisonous), and threatened to unleash to beast (not a metaphor).
As the argument continued, our gentleman decided it was not enough to simply threaten her with the wrath of a poisonous snake. No, he allegedly grabbed some snake feces from the cage and shoved it in her mouth. And people said these two love birds wouldn't make it.
After further fisticuffs, including some alleged biting (not the sexy kind), police arrived. Shockingly, Rudisill denied laying hands on our lady or forcing the snake poop in her mouth. Nevertheless, he was arrested.
And if this twisted tale of love and reptiles wasn't weird enough, our lady called police again early that morning to report that a man showed up and told her Soprano-style to drop the charges, asking her if she wanted a matching black eye to the one she already had from the earlier fight.
Love. Makes your heart melt.