Reality TV has yet to come calling for The Real Housewives of Cleveland — though who wouldn’t delight in the adventures of six Parliament-smoking moms bombarding Marc’s with coupon-stuffed fannypacks, then retiring to the Parma Cafe for happy-hour High Lifes?
For now, we’ll have to content ourselves with Catastrophes, Inc., a forthcoming show featuring Cleveland’s alleged “Masters of Disaster,” Ed Ranieri and Enzo Maddalena.
Perhaps best known for their sponsorhip of AM 850 WKNR, Ed and Enzo have been cleaning up the nastiest of nasty messes in Northeast Ohio for 15 years with their local branch of ServiceMaster. When a Kenny Chesney concert left Browns Stadium spewing more sewage than a Pat Shurmur press conference, the Masters were called in to restore order — 41 days’ worth of shoveling.
The dirty duo recently filmed a pilot episode cataloguing one day in their shit-strewn lives. Shot in Cleveland, it features the clean-up of a dead body whose scalp had become attached to a wall, a trauma scene from an ax attack, an animal-infested house, and a sewage situation. Naturally, cable TV devoured it, ordering up 12 hour-long episodes that should debut sometime next year.
“The network wanted to bring talent in, but we wanted it to be all local,” says Enzo. That network is still unnamed — Enzo says he won’t disclose it until all 12 episodes are in the can — but he promises it’s a signficant player in the glamorous world of basic cable.
Each show will follow one project from messy start to tidy finish, plus a host of other disasters along the way.
“Nasty sewage doesn’t bother me,” says Enzo. “It usually bothers people though. Sometimes sewage will actually come blowing out of a toilet like a lightning bolt. I’m used to it.”