Clevelanders Agree: We Got Some Ugly People Here

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Its like looking in a mirror, isnt it?
  • It's like looking in a mirror, isn't it?

A new study reveals that Clevelanders consider themselves the least attractive people in the United States.

We're not surprised.

When we hit Marc's over the weekend for our weekly Little Debbies stocking, we saw some of the ugliest people in the nation blocking the aisles.

The survey, which was commissioned by LivingSocial, polled the top 20 markets in the country (we're still in the Top 20? Woo-hoo!) on their city's vanity level. Turns out Clevelanders think the rest of Cleveland is pretty fucking ugly. (Or as the LivingSocial people say, "All results are based on residents' opinions of their own city.")

Cleveland checked in with the lowest-average ranking on general attractiveness — a 5.7 on a 10-point scale. Ouch.

The stats were based on things Clevelanders don't do, like get haircuts regularly. We're also not big on colorings, mani/pedis, massages, spa treatments, facials, botox procedures, and teeth whitening.

Of course you can also look at this another way: We're too damn poor to worry about the way we look. Keeping our heat on and our bellies full are way more important than having someone rub down our shoulders after a hard day at the job a lot of us don't have.

That still doesn't explain the fiftysomething guy we saw at Target on Saturday who was wearing pajama bottoms with penguins on them. We're pretty sure he was responsible for knocking us down at least a point. —Michael Gallucci

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