Police in the town of Clayton charged a man with “lack of physical control” after finding him passed out and smelling strongly of alcohol in his vehicle. Their first clue something was amiss involved the vehicle being parked in a front yard, rather than the more traditional location—a driveway.
They had trouble rousing him, but when they did, their line of questioning concluded with the suspect exhibiting what is certainly the most pronounced case of “lack of physical control” reported in Ohio this year.
Finally, he awoke enough to answer questions such as, “Have you been drinking?” He slurred a “yes. A big one.”
Asked if he knew where he was, he said, “I’m here.”
As a final salvo, he said he knew he was parked in the yard because, “I just finished plowing the snow.”
Stumbling out of the car, he fell down and asked the use a bathroom. He was told he had to wait, but couldn’t, defecating in his pants. “I’m crapping my pants right now,” he said.
Yep, lack of physical control.