"Lack of Physical Control" Charge Takes on New Meaning Near Dayton



If youre going to drink that much, wear one.
  • If you're going to drink that much, wear one.

Police in the town of Clayton charged a man with “lack of physical control” after finding him passed out and smelling strongly of alcohol in his vehicle. Their first clue something was amiss involved the vehicle being parked in a front yard, rather than the more traditional location—a driveway.

They had trouble rousing him, but when they did, their line of questioning concluded with the suspect exhibiting what is certainly the most pronounced case of “lack of physical control” reported in Ohio this year.

According to the Dayton Daily News:

Finally, he awoke enough to answer questions such as, “Have you been drinking?” He slurred a “yes. A big one.”

Asked if he knew where he was, he said, “I’m here.”

As a final salvo, he said he knew he was parked in the yard because, “I just finished plowing the snow.”

Stumbling out of the car, he fell down and asked the use a bathroom. He was told he had to wait, but couldn’t, defecating in his pants. “I’m crapping my pants right now,” he said.

Yep, lack of physical control.

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Cleveland Scene. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Cleveland Scene, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at [email protected].

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club for as little as $5 a month.