Berea Kleptomaniac Boasts of Stealing Funyuns, And Getting Away With It

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It would be fun to say something along the lines of, “only in Lorain” here but to be fair, this theft highlights a crook hailing from Berea.

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James Thomas, 36, ventured out to the Lorain Walmart and executed one of the most elaborate shoplifting plans we’ve ever read about. He managed to successfully position a cell phone, a 32-inch HDTV, and a big batch of DVD/Blu-Ray sets outside the store’s security sensors. This was done with the aid of an oversized Tshirt used to cover the stolen items in a shopping cart.

After a few turns around the parking lot, Thomas came back to the $1,500 pile of stolen goods and put them in his car. But alas, store security had been watching the whole plan, jotted down his license plate number, and called police, who promptly arrested him.

With his ego evidently bruised by the arrest, Thomas felt a need to inform police that he tricked them anyway. The Morning Journal reports:

While being booked in the city jail, Thomas let the arresting officer know that while he may have been busted this time, he had got away with a different scheme earlier that day: the theft of food items from Big Lots, including a coveted bag of Funyuns.

We hope he enjoyed them because they probably don’t serve Funyuns in jail.

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