Life Lessons from the Police Blotter: Don't, Under Any Circumstance, Ask a Teenage Girl for Her Pantyhose

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Oh these? I need all these . . . for my car . . . exhaust . . . yes sir, all of them.
  • "Oh these? I need all these . . . for my car . . . exhaust . . . yes sir, all of them."

This seems like it should be a no-brainer. Something intrinsically, head-smackingly obvious. Grandpappy doesn't really need to gently take you on his knee and explain why it's never a good idea to demand an article of clothing off a lady's person (“There are exceptions sonny, certain clubs, but you'll learn about those when you're older”), especially when she's just a wee lass, right? But we guess some guys have trouble mentally confronting the obvious. And they end up on the wrong end of a police APB.

According to the Westlake Patch police blotter (and a number of other media sites are running with the story as well) last Friday night a 16-year-old girl from Avon Lake was accosted by a man in a parking garage at Crocker Park. The man demanded the pantyhose the girl was wearing, said he needed the clothing to fix his car. When the girl handed over the hose, he ran. Police are now looking for the individual, who's described as in his late 20s, with a camouflaged baseball cap, jeans and a Northface-ish jacket.

Now, this guy could have been legit but clueless. We imagine in the realm of auto fix-it, there might be some MacGyver-ish cure for a busted exhaust system involving a pair of nylons. Or he could be a perv. If the former, then he really, really needs to work on his social graces. The latter? Ladies, watch your hose in dark parking garages.

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