Life Lessons From the Police Blotter: After a School Shooting, Leave the Paintball Guns at Home


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I love America.
  • I love America.

Pretty much every news outlet with a pulse has commented in some way on how after last week's tragic school shooting in Chardon, police have been hotfotting around Northeast Ohio on reports of potential copycat violence. Luckily, the threats have all been empty pranks. Unfortunately, because no one can quite combine unoriginality and thoughtlessness like teenagers, we're getting word of another example of high schoolers setting everyone on red alert at an area school.

The latest situation unraveled in Hudson, where a commuter spotted a car with what appeared to be weapons in the backseat pulling into the high school after lunch. The driver called police, and the school sent out a telephone message to parents, according to the Plain Dealer.

When police arrived on scene, they did discover some ordinance in the car, but nothing that could rack up an unfortunate body count: 3 paintball guns, two firecrackers, and a pair of brass knuckles. School administrators say the students will be punished for bringing the weapons onto campus.

Really, what these dingbats need is a smack upside the head. Either they actually meant some criminal mischief, or they're idiots. The victims of Chardon are barely in the ground, every cop, school administrator, law enforcer and tweaking Joe Citizen is terrified of another such shooting, and these guys don't think to take the paintball guns out of the backseat.


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